Working vs. Staying at Home

To tell you the truth, I have always been the sort of person to judge families who prefer to put their children in daycare over staying at home to care for them. I have never cared which spouse stayed home, but I always have felt it essential that at least one parent stay at home (at the very least part time) to care for the children during early childhood. This value has been instilled in me since I was very young, and I feel even more strongly after receiving a both a BA in early childhood and now my masters degree in early childhood and elementary ed. Early childhood is THE most critical time of development and what happens to children when they are young will shape the rest of their life. It seems extreme and it is (I have the research to prove it). To put a infant or toddler in a daycare where the ratio is 1 to 4 or 5 is ridiculous. There is no way, and I know, as I have taught infants and preschoolers in a daycare setting, that children can get the stimulation and personal care they need in that sort of environment. In addition, most daycare providers have little or no education in childhood development (or education period) or how to make meaningful educational experiences for young children. I can see getting a nanny with alot of experience/education or allowing a family member or close friend to help out with childcare, but that is about it. I just don't believe that the additional money from having two incomes makes up for someone else raising your child. No amount of money is worth your child not getting developmentally and educationally what he or she needs at such a critical time. I have always thought that if two people are so career driven that their jobs will be more important than staying at home, then they shouldn't have children. Period.

That said, I have never loved anything like I do teaching. I mean, I have loved my family and Jason and my animals more, but not a job or even activity. Even theatre or triathlons I have not loved like I do teaching. It is fascinating to me, challenging, fun, extremely stimulating and I am happy everyday. Now, I am not sure how I will feel when I have my babies, but I am guessing that it will be very painful for me to leave teaching as it is something I am very, very good. It will also be devestating to leave my children with anyone but my parents or a very close friend. Even a nanny, I don't think I could handle it. I am thinking that my best bet will be to work part-time and have my child with my mother or girlfriend the other days. If I made comparable money and he wasn't going to med school, then he would stay home, as I think he could easily give up engineering (but not medicine) to raise children. However, I will NEVER make anywhere near his salary so I am the natural person to cut my hours or stop working. Plus, I know WAAAY more about babies and development than he does, but you can bet he will be very educated on all of that before we actually have kids. I digress.

The point of this post is that, I can finally understand why some women have a hard time giving up their careers for their children. Especially in a career like teaching where you influence children every day and affect change that reaches beyond what you can imagine. Pretty important purpose, don't you think? Of course, what good is helping out other people's children if you can't meet the needs of your own? But it all comes down to this: What do you do if you have two loves?