The past few months...

We have been very busy the past several months. Noah's colic is in full swing still but he is a very happy, fun baby most of the day. I think he doesn't get a good nap in during the day (he mostly catnaps) so that causes him to become overtired around 4 pm. That is just my theory - I really am not entirely sure. We are gearing up for summer, enjoying spending time with Daddy, the doggies, family and friends, and I have been making to the gym 3 to 4 times a week (go me)! We have a routine now, for the most part, even though Noah frequently has other plans! He sleeps from 8-1 most nights, wakes to eat, sleeps until 5, eats, sleeps, then eats again at 8. He is an AMAZING sleeper at night. Just conks right out after every feeding, which is such a blessing after his evening screaming sessions! Here are some pictures from the last few months.

1 week old.

Dukey loves his baby.

2 weeks old - getting ready for his first date with Bella.

In the Moby. He loves the wrap!

He has the funniest expressions!

In the bouncy for the first time!

First trip to the zoo!

At the fountain with Daddy.

Bathtime!

Out to eat!

Stud. Muffin.

Best daddy in the universe

It took Jason awhile to be ready to have kids. He always wanted them, but is the sort of guy that has to have his ducks in a row before making any life changing decisions. Before he proposed we had to be done with college, he had to have a good, secure job and had to own a home. I was ready for babies pretty much right after the wedding, but he wanted me to finish grad school so I could support myself should anything ever happen to him (waaaaaa). So when he was ready for babies I knew he was really, really ready.

I am glad that we waited, because he is absolutely obsessed with Noah and loves him so much. I am thankful that he is so helpful and hands-on with baby care because it makes my life so much easier. I am glad that my little man will have such a strong role model in his life to teach him how to be a kind, hard-working and loving man and devoted husband and father. The world needs more of those, right?

Best moment of a dad's life :)

Teaching Uncle Jerod how to burp.

Nap time.

Story time.

Two buds hanging out.

Daddy can't get enough of babies! He loves little cousin Isaiah!

P.S. Why am I blogging so much, you might ask? WHERE oh WHERE do I find the time? Well Noah has turned into a little screamer each and every night, so each and every morning I have no energy left for anything else but sitting on the internet while my little prince sleeps peacefully away on my chest. Good for my blog, bad for my house! Love my precious baby, though!

Perks of staying at home...

One of the perks of staying at home and not working is that I get to try alot of recipes that I have been wanting to try but haven't had the opportunity to because of work or pregnancy (where I was so sick and tired that I pretty much didn't cook more than mac 'n cheese for 8 months!). My friend Suzi from my good old days at St. Mary's Academy introduced me to skinnytaste.com, which has amazing recipes that have formed the bulk of our meals for the past month or so. Our favorites so far include asparagus and poached egg with pasta (the egg makes a delicious sauce!) and black bean salad, which I served with cheese quesadilla. Both recipes are vegetarian, which is helping us move back into our goal of eating a bulk of our foods without meat. I was a vegetarian in college and being the animal freak that I am really try to avoid killing them for my food, especially when nowadays when there are so many delicious protein alternatives. Jason and I are still debating on raising Noah vegetarian or not, but that is another post...


This morning, I made the Starbucks mozzarella and tomato panini from scratch for our breakfast. Cheaper than actual Starbucks and it was so delicious. I simply took ciabatta bread, spread it with pesto, sliced up fresh tomatoes (I think Starbucks uses roasted, but my roasted tomatoes had gone nasty) and marinated mozzerella balls, and topped it with spinach. I then baked it at 350 for about 5 minutes to warm it up and finished it under the broiler. Oooo. It was a delicious way to sneak some more veggies into McSexy, too!

For Easter, I am making these from the skinnytaste site. Pina Colada cupcakes! They don't call for rum, but I think I'll sneak some in!

I am also trying to cook more from scratch and eat at home (we got into a bad habit of eating out/to-go when I was on bed rest). My parents are both phenomenal cooks, make everything from scratch, and I want to give that to same experience to Noah.

Noah meets the Easter Bunny

Yesterday we attended an Easter brunch at my Grandma's assisted living home. We ate delicious food and Noah got to enjoy lots of family time and even met the Easter bunny for the first time. These pictures were taken by my Aunt Jody, and I'll have to come back and add my pictures later today, when I hope to finally upload the over 3,000 pictures (for reelz!) we have taken since his birth!

I am so thankful Grandma Lou got to meet Noah. There were times where I didn't think she would get to meet my children, so it is a blessing that she is still in relatively good health at 90! She is obsessed with him (her 7th great-grandchild).

Grandma also got to meet my dad's new iPad. He is obsessed with iAnything and tries to explain the technology to her, but she just shakes her head. When you think that she was born in the early 1900's, it is amazing all the advances she has seen - no wonder it is hard to keep up with!

Everyone else observing my Dad's iPad. Lol. I would like to note that he cradled his iPad all day and didn't even hold his grandson! Hmpf!



Noah with Daddy and Mommy.

Noah with Uncle John. Uncle John had an awesome remote control helicopter to share.

Me, McSexy, Grandma, the MOOSE-O-RAMA, my dad and mom!

A sizable portion of my family - including Aunt Jody, Uncle John and Uncle Jerod! My poor attorney-in-training sister is both sick and has finals coming up, so she had to miss the gathering.

This video is of Jason dancing with the baby - a regular occurrence at our house.

Baby wearing, cloth diapering, and all that is crunchy

Hello from the crazy world of living with an infant! I am loving every minute, but there are days where I don't have time to check my email, let alone blog! (Not that I was very consistent before...). I am considering suspending the blog temporarily or indefinitely, just because I want my energy and focus to go solely into Noah (he is growing so fast) and our family, but I enjoy communicating with long-lost friends (and new ones!) through the blogosphere so we will see. I go back to teaching part-time in the fall and I maintain a classroom blog, so fall might be the time where it really stops. We'll have to see.

Here are some updates!

1. We are finally booked for our Hawaii trip in July. This is my pushing present. Even though I never really pushed Noah out. So maybe it should be called my pregnancy present. Or pain present. Anyway, my last 10 months were so super hellish that my dear husband decided that a little reward was in order. It just so happened that my sister's BFF is getting married in Maui, so off we go with my family for a little vacation! My parents took me to Hawaii when I was five months old, so the tradition continues. It is a bit overwhelming trying to figure out how to travel best in a warm climate with a baby, but I am getting a lot of sage advice from seasoned mammas. I am expecting this in the mail soon (from oldnavy.com) along with this cute outfit from Gymboree!

2. I LOVE being at home. I am so blessed that I don't have to go back to work until next school year, so I have until mid-August to get used to parenting, establish routines, and just enjoy my baby. I definitely miss my kiddos, and can't wait to go back part-time next year, but for now I am enjoying long walks with the dogs, hanging out with friends, meal planning, and helping to take the load off of McSexy for awhile as he prepares for the MCAT and takes his final classes before applying to med school. I feel like 10 months of my life were lost (and definitely the final 9 weeks before Noah was born) and my energy to get out and do things is unparalleled right now!

3. I am excited to start working out again. My six week appointment is tomorrow, and I hope to get the okay to start lifting and training again. Training for what, I am not entirely sure (besides Hawaii and my friend Megan's wedding!). I am trying to keep the expectations of myself moderate and kind, because as of July it will be a whole year since I have seriously hit the gym! I do want to work out as often as possible, because I know it will get tough again once I go back to work! But summer is coming, and that makes it so much easier to exercise. I am hoping to start using the Bob for actual running instead of just long walks, but I am scared of starting up because of my c-section scar.


4. I am LOVING cloth diapering. LOVING. We got started later than I wanted, because Noah didn't fit the Thirsties covers I had purchased for his newborn fitteds (should have gone with the extra small), but now that he is a big boy (waaaaa) he can fit into them. We are primarily using the fitteds Shanda gave me (see above - Noah in his OSU fitted!) and the Thirsties covers, which I love, but I also am using Flip covers (love them, too, they are a great one size cover and do actually fit little babies, unlike most one size diapers! They are so stretchy!). I am not sold on the Flip stay-dry inserts, though, as when I use the inserts (as opposed to homemade fitteds) he seems to get poo-poo on the covers every time. That does not happen with the disposable inserts for the Flips, so I am hoping as he grows that we can actually use the stay-dry inserts??? He is just now fitting his Bum Genius all-in-one diaper (sized, which they are getting rid of!), and I am loving it. We are moving towards all pockets or all-in-one diapers because McSexy does not like the two-step system of the fitteds and covers. So I have more Bum Genius coming (sized and one-size), some Fuzzi Bunz (both perfect fit and one-sized), a Thirsties pocket diaper (in Blackbird, eee gawd!) and a Bum-Ware all-in-one. I also have seven Kawaii pocket diapers on order. I want to order a Rumparooz but I went a little nutso this past week, and need to get control over myself. Cloth diapering is definitely an addiction!!!

5. I am still figuring out baby wearing. I carry him around the house when he is awake, whenever I go out shopping and when I am alone walking the pups. I have a Moby, which is okay, a Lovey Dud, which is better (stretchier!), and my Ergo, which I LOVE! I walk BOTH doggies and Noah using the Ergo and can go hours w/o even feeling his weight. It took awhile to get fast with the infant insert, but now I love it (and he is already starting to move out of the infant insert!). I love that he can see the world and what I am doing when I carry him, and I narrate my day as we move around. The big dilemma now, however, is what to do in the summer. Will the Ergo be too hot? We do a ton of walking and hiking and don't forget Hawaii! I am thinking about getting a linen or gauze wrap, but I don't think I will be able to carry him the distance that I need to. I did a trip to the mall with the Lovey Dud and I was tired after, which doesn't happen with my Ergo. Plus, he doesn't L.O.V.E the newborn positioning in a wrap, but I think he will like it alot better when he can move to the big-baby positioning. Should we just forget about baby wearing in Hawaii and use a an umbrella stroller (with shade cover, of course!)? The Ergo for the airport, definitely!

Okay, got to go! This post took me two days to write and right now Noah is done and ready for his bath! Hope I can post sooner rather than later!

Wild Thing

(My dear friend Amy bought Noah this doll, so that he would always remember and know his older sibling).

This Wednesday it will be a year since we found out our little Wild Thing had passed.

As I reflect on the past year, I am able to see God working through all that happened. I have received countless emails and messages from friends and friends of friends and anonymous readers, thanking me for blogging about my miscarriage and all the messiness that went along with it, and sharing their story, because they too were experiencing a loss and the isolation and shame and fear that it brings. It is amazing how God is always able to take the horrific and traumatizing and sad and somehow bring abundant blessings and HOPE! If I was able to make the journey of miscarriage a little easier for even one woman or family, than my pain (and public dissection of it) was worth it. Looking back, I can also see now that the experience of my loss strengthened me for the pregnancy that was to come, a pregnancy that would take all of me (physically, emotionally and mentally) but that I knew through it all was worth it for Noah.

But that does not change that today and this week, as I am loving and adoring my second baby, I also am still grieving and missing my first.

Interesting week...

(Is my angel not GORGEOUS? I'll post more from his newborn shoot soon!)

We are doing fairly well over here. Noah has been on exclusive breast milk (mixture of bottle and nursing) since we got the okay to do so at 2 weeks (he is a big MOOSE, is what our lactation consultant says!) and I am proud that I worked so hard to get him off formula through pumping and sheer determination. Most preemies are still on a mixture until they reach term (because of supply issues with momma and latching issues with baby), which for him will be this Sunday. He still sleeps most of all day and all night and Jason and I have finally figured out a schedule that works for us most of the time (shifts during the night so we each get a chunk of sleep). In some ways, being forced on formula bottles has helped us in the long run, because he doesn't have nipple confusion and will take most anything you give him - breast, bottle or binky. He gets about two bottles of breast milk a day (3-4 oz a pop!) and the rest he is on the boob. Jason loves feeding him and it gives me a bit of a break, so for that I am thankful. He was 6 lb 10 oz at birth, 6 lbs 4 oz after we left the hospital, and on Monday he was up to 8 lbs. He will also sleep pretty much anywhere - I carry him in a wrap most of the day, so he sleeps on me, but he also switches between the family bed and co-sleeper just fine, as well as in our Rock 'N Play sleeper and swing. He is very flexible and easygoing (knock on wood) which I secretly think I deserve after my hellish pregnancy. I just stare at him and whisper, "I love you, Baby - you are the best thing that I have ever done." I repeat that to him all day, every day, so that he knows how cherished he is. It is shocking how one tiny little guy can so drastically change a person, and I seriously don't know what I did to deserve him.

That he, and every child, is a true miracle was brought home swiftly and strongly this week. One of my closest friends from college, indeed still one of my dearest friends, experienced a still birth this week. She is one of the strongest, most beautiful women I know, and her loss grieves and physically pains me. Baby William was due just a few weeks after Noah's original March 20th birthday. I cannot imagine the devastation her family is going through - to carry a child to term, to plan his room, organize his clothes, feel him kick and punch for months, see his tiny fists on the ultrasound screen, his heartbeat - my loss crushed me, and hers must be paralyzing. It is every mother's worst nightmare and a scenario I often envisioned during my long, isolating nights in the hospital. It is upsetting that I cannot fly up there to be with her as she plans the funeral and somehow has to continue caring for her toddler and make it through breathing and waking up and surviving each day. She is amazing though and so strong and 500 times the woman I am, so I try to let that comfort me as I pray for her and her family. I know that God is stronger than anything that can happen to us and somehow through his Mercy and Grace they will survive. Please pray for them, and sweet baby William, as they make it through these first weeks and months.

Finally over...

and so, so worth it!

While I don't have time for a long post, I thought y'all deserved a quick update (I apologize for the delay)!

On Sunday, February 20th at 9:04 am, we welcomed Noah Jackson into our family. He weighed 6 lbs 10 oz and was only in the NICU for a couple days. He is the sweetest, most precious baby and I could not have asked for anything more.

Night before c-section. So freaked out!

First moments!

So happy that it it is over and I have my little man!

Daddy is so happy! He gasped when he saw Noah come out. I have never seen my hubby so happy.

With Daddy in the NICU. First feeding.

Bonding with my baby in the NICU.

Finally he is brought to us to stay!

Daddy loves his baby boy. McSexy is a total rockstar dad.