Surviving HOSPITAL bedrest

Here are some tips for surviving a long-term hospital stay while pregnant. Some of these are more general, some are very specific, but my learning curve is your gain! :

1. Make friends with the nurses. This is the single best thing you can do for yourself. You will see the doctor for a few minutes a day, but the nurses are the ones who will re-fill your water, answer your questions and come to love and know your baby. They'll get you special menus, run to buy you candy at night, teach you tricks to relieve your perpetual discomfort, and advocate for you with the docs. Plus, they are full of juicy gossip about labor and delivery. So don't annoy them.

2. Along those lines, each time you get a new nurse, jot down their name and a few tidbits that you learn about them and their family. I also include something special they did for me. I am doing this for two reasons - one, so I'll know who to write cards to once this is all over (and be able to thank them SPECIFICALLY), and two, so when visitors are here I can introduce my nurse to them along with a conversation starter. For example, when the nurse comes in, I say, "So and so, this is Nora - she has been a labor and delivery nurse for 35 years! You should HEAR her stories!" and then it starts an enjoyable chat for all :) This sounds sooo dweeby, but it really has helped me establish relationships with my nurses. Refer to point 1. The nurses ARE. YOUR. LIFE.

3. Send your husband home. I know. Super sad. The first night Jason left to sleep at home, I cried and cried, but in the end, it is better for him to get a good rest (and give the needy dogs some TLC) so he is ready for whatever the night or day holds. Especially if your baby could literally be born at any second. There needs to be at least one of you in tip top shape, and I am sayin', it will NOT be you.

4. Wear your own clothes. As soon as they let you, get out of that hospital gown. Since the items of clothes I can still fit is slowly dwindling, I send Jason home with the previous day's clothes each night for him to wash and bring back (for example, I send him home with Sunday's outfit on Monday night, which he brings back on Tuesday). I felt 100x better after getting out of that gown.

5. Ask to get out of a labor and delivery bed. If you are told you will be there more than one night, ask if they can get you a different bed. The L&D beds are narrow and hard. The regular beds are squishy and wide so you can cuddle with your hubby. Our hospital also has egg crate mattress covers that my nurse gave me. This made ALL. THE. DIFFERENCE and got rid of a significant amount of rib pain and back discomfort for me.

6. Get those night meds. I have mentioned my little BFF Ambien. Before I got pregnant, I was like, "I am not going to let coffee touch my lips, never will I take a bath, I'll live only on veggies and tofu and I will CERTAINLY not allow ANY medications to enter my TEMPLE of a body." Noah (well, his little uterine home) had other plans. I tried everything I could to avoid the few medications I am on, but at the end of the day (or after several weeks of trying alternatives), I was done with the agony. If you are laying around all day, you WILL NOT sleep at night. And as the nurses will tell you, you NEED to sleep while you can. For me, lack-of-sleep was contributing to my contractions so it was also a health issue. And you better not tell my baby he can't have chicken strips. That does NOT go over well.

7. So they have these monitoring bands which are made of cloth and elastic, sort of like the belly bands you wear with your jeans when you first start popping out of them, but looser. These are so much more comfortable for monitoring than the velcro straps and easier/quicker to get on and off. I love my special band. And Noah does, too. He used to throw huge fits and run from the monitor (we think the sensors were just pressing on him and annoying him) so what was supposed to take an quick hour would be two-three hours of chasing him around. That has not been a problem since I switched to the belly band. I am told some ladies prefer the straps, but you never know until you try it once or twice.

8. Don't be a hoarder. There are women here in really, really sucky situations. Some are here for months, some have no support from the daddy, some have serious financial stress, and some have to check out against medical advice for various reasons. At the end of the day, bed rest in the hospital sucks for everyone. If people bring me goodies or magazines or activity books, I use them for a while (eat my fair share) and then pass them on. The nurses will take them to someone who REALLY needs a pick-me-up :)

9. Get yourself a routine. Early on, I realized that I needed to figure out a schedule that worked for me. When you get a new nurse, they will ask you how you like to do things and what your preferences are, and it helps to be able to tell them. I get up, tidy up my room (so my Russian housekeeper will continue to repeat to me daily what a good wife I must be - so bizarre), shower, do my makeup in my bed using my special table, eat, and then get monitored. This works for me. I like to do all this as soon as I wake up, mostly because I am paranoid that I'll be have an emergency and be carted off to deliver without my life in order. I have other little routines for the day, but it gives me some sort of constant in a very weird situation.

10. Olive oil. The air here is super dry. Dry to the point that my regular face lotion (which I have used for years) was giving me a rash and I was getting dry patches all over my skin. My sister brought me olive oil and I rub it into my face after my shower each day. It has helped immensely. I (or Jason) also rubs coconut oil on my stomach a couple times a day, but for the face, just straight olive oil without scents or anything is best.

11. Bring a little stand up mirror (or have someone buy one for you). You will need this to do your makeup lying down in bed. Some people might not care, but I am not an invalid, and I don't want a reputation as the resident antepartum hag. And I hope it goes without saying, but shower. Each day.

12. Get a stuffed animal. My Uncle Gary brought me a stuffed hippo that I named Meatloaf (because I spilled meatloaf on him the night I got him). He is much easier than a regular sized pillow to maneuver behind my neck and back or wherever I need extra support. He has a nice pot belly and I pretend he is Maddie when I fall alseep.

13. Bring pictures of your dogs. Or kids. My dogs are my kids, so I have pictures of them and it really is a mood booster when I miss them so badly I think I will bust out of this joint AMA.

I think that is all. I have a few hospital drama stories and a few horrifying/hilarious labor and delivery stories from my nurses, so I'll try to get those out in the next few days.

Dear Brad Womack,

You bore me. And this is from a woman confined to a hospital bed for 24 hours a day. Aaaaannnnddd still? You bore me.

Every season The Bachelor provides me with pathetic excitement accompanied by incredulousness that anyone would ever apply to the show and a grateful heart for not ever having to go to such ridiculous lengths to meet my husband.

I am not sure what about helicopter rides, trips to Fiji and filming tv spots have to do with REAL LIFE marriage, but I am pretty sure they don't tell those woman much about what type of husband Brad Womack will be, nor give him too much authentic information about the ladies and how they'll handle wife-dom.

My nurse and I were talking last night. We have an idea for a NEEEW show to replace The Bachelor.

It is called BED REST! (say it very dramatically in your head, please). (Disclaimer: This is my intellectual property so nobody better be stealin' my fame and fortune. My sister is an intellectual property Nazi and I will have her sue you. So make a good choice).

BED REST takes place in a hospital converted to a t.v. set. None of the women are actually sick or pregnant obviously, but the producers would have them all line up and down the hall in isolated rooms and pretend they are on bed rest for pregnancy. They would get all the same treatment that a regular woman gets on bed rest and Brad Womack would play the harried husband trying to meet all their needs. Every once in a while, the woman or Brad would get a special card (to replace the "date" card) called a FATE card, which would detail a complication in the pregnancy. Like, "The nurses can't find a vein anywhere in your arm!!" or "You can no longer reach your legs to shave them" or "The baby has shoved himself completely under your rib cage and you are in severe pain!" and then Brad Womack and the ladies would have to deal with the result of the Fate card just like in real life.

Who would the Bachelor choose if he had to judge the women based upon their patience, resolve, and kindness in the midst of pain and uncertainty (as opposed to their willingness to repel down a building or make out with him)? Would the ladies continue the show once they saw how he reacted to the stress of balancing a job, home responsibilities and a cooped up wife? Or would they dump him when he refused to go get them a Kit Kat bar? Hmmmm.....

You would get voted off each week in a c-section ceremony. Brad would call up each woman and say, "You are NOT cut!" - meaning the pregnancy isn't over. To the ones he dumps, he would say, "YOU. ARE. CUT!" and they would have to shuffle home in their hospital gowns.

The show would end after a couple months once he had narrowed the women down to the LEAST psycho and then he could ask her to marry him (or leave her abandoned at the c-section ceremony or whatever).

Now THAT is how entertainment is done, Brad Womack. 'Course half of the drama would be lost since the women would be isolated from each other... So maybe I shouldn't be so worried about my intellectual property, after all.

And I already know how it is all going to end in the real Bachelor, anyhow. Brad is going to forgo all women (yet again) and marry his therapist. Mark my words.

Yeah, this isn't going to work

McSexy thought he had come up with a good plan. Yesterday wasn't a good day pain-wise, so I just went along with it apathetically. "Okay, dear..."

So he stayed at the hospital with me until 6 last night. He went home, walked and played with the recently dropped-off puppies and then got a huge coffee from Starbucks.

Then he stayed up all night long coding and doing work. He showered, walked the dogs again, and was back here by 8:00. Then promptly fell asleep.

So I am sitting here in the dark - can't talk on the phone, can't watch television and am trying to be quiet for him. And have no one to talk to because he is sleeping.

This is not going to work. I can't sit in the dark all day and all night and lose half of the distractions that make me sane.

So tonight he'll sleep like a normal person and go back to our original plan, which was to spend the morning at home working and being with the dogs, the afternoon here, and then go back in the evening again.

I think he is just paranoid if something happens and they have to deliver Noah while he is not here so he is trying to spend as many hours in the hospital as possible without having to be here during the night (because of the the puppies). Understandable. But the nurses have his cell and I am sure he could get here right AFTER Noah is born if not before or simultaneously. "After" does not make him happy, but what are you going to do? This is not an ideal situation for anyone...

The highlight of my day (probably my week!) so far was that one of my doctors said she is going to write an order for Duke and Maddie to come visit me! I am so, so happy. Maybe they can come tomorrow! They probably think I died, so I know they will be excited to see me. And Duke loves to tour buildings (besides doggie daycares) like Home Depot, the vet office, etc. so he will be very curious and excited! I'll try to take pictures!

So all I'll be missing is this little princess (unless they can write an order for a rat to come visit, or my parents can sneak her in, but I don't want to push my luck!)

Alice helping Daddy paint Noah's room a couple months ago. She was a big helper.

Back in the hospital...

For ALLLL ETERNITY. At least that is what it feels like!

So our last appointment on Thursday didn't go that well. My blood pressure was super high, I had swelling and my fluid had dropped significantly from our last ultrasound. Surprise! Plus I had bleeding the morning of. So now I am here until we deliver, which is in around 2 weeks, unless something bad happens. If anything else happens (his fluid drops lower, my contractions get worse, I start bleeding, my BP rises), they are not going to mess with it anymore and just deliver him.

If I thought bed rest at home was bad... They don't have DVR here.

In all honesty, it has gotten better since yesterday. They let me shower everyday now and I can wear my own clothes and I have a new bed (not labor and delivery bed - a nicer one, woot woot). I don't have to be on the monitor except for three hours a day, which is a huge relief because Noah is so active he tends to drop off all the time (as in every 10 minutes) and they have to re-adjust (which is a pain for them and for me!). And then I don't want to move because I don't want him to fall off again so I try not get up to go to the bathroom... Oy vey. We love all the nurses here, though, and they are all very sweet and accommodating. They like me because I watch the Today show and they like to come in and watch it, too.

So the good news is that Noah is happy as a clam and very wild and active. He was being OUT.OF.CONTROL last night and seriously driving everyone crazy since we were on the monitor, so Jason rubbed him and he finally calmed down. Good to know SOMEONE can put him to sleep!

The problem just seems to be perpetually with me and my body, but as long as he is healthy and doing well, that is fine.

We are trying to find a routine that works for us. So far McSexy has been staying here with me every night and just going home for a few hours to do laundry, clean the house and work for a bit but I am not really sure that that is sustainable for him. Right now we are thinking he might just stay at home starting Sunday night - get up and walk the pups each morning, work a bit and then come here in the evenings and head back home to sleep with the puppies. The nights are the worst for me because I've already used up most of my stay-sane options (reading, movie, internet) during the day and I also seem to be in more pain at night so we'll see how the new routine works on Monday. But once they bring my sweet, sweet Ambien I sleep super well so there are just a few hours where it gets really tough.

I have been holding it together. Thursday morning when we arrived was hard because I realized that I am going to potentially go weeks without my doggies or my ratty girl, and I didn't even say a proper goodbye or give them a good cuddle before we headed to our appointment because we had no idea we'd be stuck here. My parents have my elderly little Alice, which is good, and Aja has been watching the doggies again. Duke is adjusting fine because the other day he gave Aja a good ole hump-a-roo as she tried to do laundry. He only does that when he wants to be walked and usually only to us, so obviously he feels right at home demanding things from her. And Madison is always flexible and easy-going (except she wakes up at 5:30 and the Appel's are NOT morning people!)

So, things could be worse. I am fine, Noah is fabulous, we are slowly getting into more of a routine, etc. All I can say is that he better be the easiest baby in the world when he comes out! And here is what he looks like:


Except this is me. But he is starting to look more like me now, instead of like his dadda. So this is a preview for y'all. Just AhhhDORABLE, right?

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Ex. 14:14

Talked off the ledge...

I have realized more fully in recent weeks that the saying about God never giving a person more than they can handle is probably NOT true, akkkktually. I do believe that much of what has happened this past year, or is happening now, was/is more than I personally can manage. My body is tired, my mind is struggling and anxious, I am in constant pain. Me, weak as I am, cannot handle the remainder of this bed rest or this pregnancy in my own strength. So this IS more than I alone can handle, too heavy a cross for me to bear.

What I do believe, however, is that God does not give His people more than HE can handle, and He can handle all this nonsense with His little pinky toe. And He showed this to me today when he heard my calling and my distress and sent me a little email through my college friend Devon (who also had a pregnancy-from-hell and a c-section) that helped to assuage my fears and strengthen in me a spirit of resolve. Through her, my burden was slightly lifted and I am feeling much better about bed rest and delivery. Thank you, Devon :)

So alone, I am nothing, but yoked to Jesus and supported by those who listen to and love Him (and a little pill called ambien), I can get through this :)

Still trucking along...

Even though I am on bed rest, I am not motivated to blog. Mostly because I don't really do or think of anything interesting anymore (or at least anything I am willing to share, which says a lot, because in the past I've blogged about so much of my thinking...) Mostly I switch between the television, the internet and reading. I'll take a nap, I'll play with Alice, take a bath or two, stare at the dogs, etc. The only update is that I am starting to get very, very anxious and paranoid about the c-section and cry about it most every night (poor McSexy) in addition to being highly irritable about everything. I've had abdominal surgery before with my appendectomy and it was not cool - certainly nothing I would CHOOSE to do. I can't imagine having to take care of Noah while trying to recover from surgery and I am afraid it is going to affect my breastfeeding and bonding. For someone who did so much research on vaginal birth (I mean book after book, video after video, website after website), it IS disappointing that I am not even going to be able to TRY to birth naturally, especially since it turns out that I handle contractions pretty well so far (from what the nurses have told me). This pregnancy has been so hard and debilitating that I just want it all to be over and to be recovered as soon as possible so that I can feel finally better and get back to my typical activities (obviously with the addition of a baby), including the gym, walking the dogs, going out with friends, cleaning, baking... but a c-section makes recovery so much longer. I just want it all to be over.

Well, that was interesting...

Well, we just got out of the hospital and I am so, so glad to be home with NO BABY! We had a rough couple days and night, but thanks to excellent care and a finally chilled-out uterus and baby, I am back with my puppies and McSexy.

At 9:30 yesterday morning, I went upstairs for my regular bath time and low and behold was bleeding! That was a bit of surprise, even though they have told us for months to expect it and I have tried to become mentally prepared. Yay. I called Jason freaking out, because we are sooo not ready for the hospital. I have been a slacker and have lists of what to pack, but nothing really together except for Noah's diaper bag, which is the VERY last bag we will need! He was leading a meeting but finally answered his phone and came home. I am so thankful that he works five minutes away from our house...

Anyway, we called our perinatologist and went to his office for an ultrasound and monitoring. We were there within 20 minutes. Noah looked great and is now 4 lbs, 9 oz (which is in the 68 percentile!). He was not as active as he has been, which didn't freak me out but I thought it was kind of interesting. He had a strong heartbeat, good fluid, all that.

So they put me on a contraction monitor and I was having them yet again. I felt mostly back labor, so it was hard for me to tell. I was uncomfortable, but that has sort of been the story of this pregnancy, especially having contractions off and on for a few weeks now.

To make a long story short, Dr. Watson transferred us to the hospital (which is across the street) with assurances that it would probably be only for a few hours. Okay, we can handle this, we were thinking. Bleeding had stopped and Dr. Watson assured us that even if they had to deliver, he would have 100% chance of survival and a 95% chance of not having any long-term complications. I really wasn't worried...

Hospital was a whole different story. We were still having contractions but naively thought they would end up resolving themselves and we could go home in a few hours. But all of a sudden, Noah's heartbeat dropped way below 100 (it had been 150-160 previously) and didn't resolve itself. Before I even knew what was happening I had four nurses and two doctors in my room freaking out, moving the monitor, grabbing the printouts, shoving an IV in (worst IV ever in the top of my right wrist - took three nurses), rolling me around and telling me that if his heart rate didn't come back up in a minute or two we would need to have an emergency c-section immediately. Ooookay. Let me tell you, I have never been as scared in MY LIFE as when I watched my baby's heart rate plummet and was instantly surrounded by medical personnel. The only thing I was thinking was, "GET HIM OUT. GET HIM OUT RIGHT NOW EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DELIVER HIM RIGHT HERE." So panicked. There was nothing Jason and I could do but watch and hope.

Finally his heart rate went above 100 again, praise the LORD, and kept dipping but would come back up again. So needless to say, we were admitted and were there all freaking night and today until 5:00 p.m. His heart rate had a few more issues and I continued to have contractions, but no more bleeding and during the night his heart rate went back up to normal and stayed there. He also "woke up" and became more active at around 8:00 in the evening. My contractions stopped this afternoon. Happy momma. We also got two rounds of steroid shots to mature his lungs in case of delivery in the next few weeks.

With all the panic and kind of traumatic experiences that went along with the past hours we also had some positive outcomes of our little adventure.

1. We loved the nurses at our hospital. They were wonderful, reassuring, calm and we just adored them. I am so glad we are delivering at St. V's. Especially my day nurse, Peggy. I absolutely love her and we totally hit it off. I am praying she is our nurse when Noah is born! God bless nurses, seriously. They are amazing.

2. We met a few more doctors who were part of Dr. Watson's perinatal practice and really liked all of them. If Noah reaches his scheduled c-section date we will have Dr. Watson deliver him, but if it turns out to be an emergency delivery, we are very comfortable with any of the doctors we have met so far. I swear that this practice must have had "super super nice around paranoid pregnant women" as a requirement for joining.

3. We were kind of able to practice our delivery game plan and find out holes and flaws BEFORE it is actual go time and we are stuck in the hospital for ages. My friend Aja and her husband watched the dogs, as planned, but I realized that I need to make more detailed lists for them (mostly about Duke's medications he is on), and list out where exactly to find their beds, leashes etc. It worked out because Jason ran home to get some stuff for us for the night and was able to drop them off with their gear. We are lucky to have such good friends who will watch our precious babies within a moment's notice!

4. As mentioned before, I got a swift kick in the rear as to what I still need to buy/prepare for the hospital stay. I am on much stricter restrictions now (complete bed rest with showers but no longer allowed to putter around the house or go on walks or anything), so I am not sure how it is going to get done, but at least I know of some much needed toiletries/clothes/accessories that I had totally overlooked but would make a hospital stay much more pleasant. So my goal is to get my toiletry bag ready and packed in the next few days so I am ready, and whatever I can of my clothes bag, because obviously we could be back in the hospital at any time. I also need to update my little lists for Jason.

5. We also became aware that there were some birth plan holes that we need to get moving on. We are slowly realizing that we have little to no control over how things play out, but we were asked a bunch of questions about our preferences that we haven't yet solidified (SHOCKING, I know). Like about circumcision. We have done research but still can't decide. What do you guys think/how did you decide?

6. We were reminded again how blessed we are that Jason works for a company that is so flexible and understanding. He has amazing co-workers that stepped up instantly (as they have done in the past as well) and spent the whole day emailing him, not about work, but about me and the baby. I can't believe how we both ended up working for companies/schools that really practice what they preach about families and supporting their employees. He is able to take off work with me tomorrow and Friday (so he'll end up being gone the whole week pretty much), which doesn't affect his paternity leave in any way. So, support Intel and buy their products!

7. Amazing insurance. I cannot imagine having to worry about how to pay for all that monitoring and tests and such ON TOP of worrying about Noah. This type of pregnancy would absolutely SINK a family without insurance. I just feel so awful for those without means to pay for proper medical care, but I am so thankful that we do.

So now we are back to waiting, which is fine by me. We are praying that nothing more threatening happens in the next few weeks and Noah can grow a bit longer. I am somewhat comforted in knowing that we have the lung steroids now, which should help immensely. Praying that he stays in there as long as possible. I'll keep y'all updated!

I am never going to make it.

I am so freaking bored. Thank God I have good friends and family that are bringing me food, treats, books and even loaning me a Kindle (thanks Ashley!) They are also attempting to spend time with me, which I am sure is hard because I have nothing interesting to say most of the time.

It is funny what the mind does when you are left alone for long stretches with not much mental stimulation and nothing physically active to keep you busy. I used to be really into working out (2 hours a day in college - oh, those were the days) and also got into triathlons a little bit later, but then with grad school and teaching, I had to cut back my workouts to only a few times a week. I am DYING to get back on the treadmill and lift weights. DYING. Even swimming or riding the recumbent bike would work for me. I am so thankful that I can walk alongside Jason and the pups for 10 minutes a day. My job is also very stimulating and busy - I would come home with work most nights and keeping up with and meeting the learning needs of 20 five-year-olds is a huge mental challenge, which I loved. Plus my kids are super funny and entertaining, so my world is so much more interesting when I am at work. I am begging my friends to bring me grading, which is totally psycho, but I seriously would pay to look at cute little handwriting and read their cute little stories.

My saving grace is McSexy. Without him, I would die. I know I must be terribly boring and a pain to wait on, but he never complains, and sits around with me all evening, even though I know he wants to go to the gym or get out and about. I count down the hours until he gets home, partly to hear him talk about Noah and how excited he is (okay, and maybe to hear about how pretty I am and to get the sweets he brings me). He says that all he is going to do when the baby gets here is hold him and change his diapers and play with him. He can't wait. I try to keep that image in my head, of him with the baby, of us with the baby, to get through the days, because I am having a hard time imagining or getting excited about Noah actually arriving (which is so horrible to say, I am going to Hell, ugh). I am not sure why. I want him here so bad, but I also feel like I should be more bonded to him than I am. I guess partly that I STILL don't want to bond, or am afraid to bond, until I actually have him in my arms and we are both intact and whole. I still think that this can't really be happening to me, that my body will still fail me completely, and something will happen to him, especially since the pregnancy has been so physically rough. Is this normal or just a constant side effect of my baby I lost? I dunno. I don't doubt that I will be completely obsessed with him once he is here (um, have you seen me with my DOGS???) but I feel like I should be more obsessed with him NOW. I am not scared of being a parent or that I won't know what to do or be incompetent (3 1/2 years of infant caregiving and nannying removed that feeling I think completely) so I am not quite sure what it is. I think just not trusting that he will be healthy and maybe partly that even when this is SUPPOSED to be over, it won't be over, at least pain wise, because of the c-section and all that.

I am not complaining, just processing. Okay, maybe complaining a bit. And counting down the minutes (4 more weeks give or take). Oh, Lawdy.

Bedrest, you suck

I hate bed rest. There was a time (like every June at the end of the school year) where I, like many others, would say, "Sweet! A few months off of work! WHO could complain about THAT?" So it might seem crazy to some that this period of forced down time is being met with dread and despair. The problem is that, #1, unlike a regular vacation, I can't spend my time running errands, getting ready for Noah, or indulging in pedicures and coffee dates with friends (i.e. doing anything worthwhile or fun); #2, All of my friends are now back to work from the holidays and my Man Slave will be back to work tomorrow so I have no one to visit me or love me; #3, I am in near constant pain from my uterus, back, ribs, heartburn, etc. There is never a time where I am comfortable, except when I am walking around my neighborhood during one of my allotted 10 minute walks a day or sleeping; and #4, I love my job, miss my job, and worry about my kids and how they are doing without me.

And though I know this is just a blip of time, I am dying and time is creeping by sooo slowly. I feel worthless, sluggish, achey and pissed. I want this baby freaking OUT of me.

I thought y'all would enjoy hearing my bedrest schedule since it is so interesting. This is a TYPICAL day, changing, you know, based upon what is on T.V. or what goodies my friends have brought me the previous day.

7:30 ish: Wake up. Lie in bed while Jason feeds the dogs.
7:35: Wait and listen for Maddie to run upstairs for cuddle time. She usually likes to frantically let me know that she just had her delicious breakfast by rubbing her face all over me, so I spend a good ten minutes kissing her. We talk about our plans for the day.
7:45: Kiss and talk to Duke.
8:00: Get up and open my window. This helps give the day some structure and lets my body know that it is time to get up so that I don't feel like I am in solitary confinement.
8:00: Eat breakfast. Make sure not to lie down for AT LEAST 20 minutes after breakfast to prevent heartburn.
8:10: Think about cheesecake.
8:15: Think about how I am going to get myself said cheesecake.
8:20: Notify Man Slave of desire for cheesecake. Make a mental note of when he says he'll be able to bring me cheesecake.
8:25: Check DVR. Check email. Check Facebook. Maybe watch the Today show, Housewives of Orange County, Toddlers in Tiaras, Sarah Palin's Alaska or some other mind-numbing series.
9:00 ish: Wake Alice up and kiss her her squishy face. Take a bath and let her run around. Read in tub.
9:10: Rescue Alice from the tub (she falls in once a day). Good thing I am a lifeguard. Towel her off and scold her.
9:15: Stare as Jason runs in, swirls his fingers in the tub to check the temperature and then runs out. I am not trying to boil my baby, Sweets.
10:00: Get out of tub and give Alice a yogurt yummy.
10:05: Oil up my body so I don't get stretch marks and then put on one of my various maternity sweatsuits. This is my NEW one from Pea in the Pod that I got yesterday to wear to my doctor appointment Tuesday. Jealous much?


10:10-12:00: Read, watch Neflix, Hulu or the television. Make sure to adjust my maternity pillow and switch positions every ten minutes or so so my ribs don't fall out of place.
12:00: Call Jason and check on the status of my cheesecake. Eat something else like pineapple.
12:10: Call my mom to double check on what food she is bringing me at her next visit. Tomorrow is sour cream chicken enchiladas. Yum.
12:15: Stare at one of the 27 areas of my house that needs organization or deep cleaning. Think about when/how I am going to be able to do the organization or deep cleaning. Go back and lay down.
12:20: Kiss Maddie and Duke. Talk about how our day is going so far and ask them if they like the baby. Duke does not like the baby because he takes up too much room in the bed. Maddie thinks he is okay for right now.
12:25: Check my email and Facebook. Read or watch T.V. I try to spend most of the day downstairs on the couch as opposed to in bed so I'll have less trouble falling asleep at night.
1:00: Do a kick count and take a nap.
2:00: Watch T.V or read.
4:00: Check on the status of my cheesecake.
5:30: Eat the dinner that Jason either makes or brings me.
6:00: Ask about my cheesecake. Eat my cheesecake. Talk about LOUDLY how HAPPY my cheesecake makes me. Do another kick count because Noah likes cheesecake, too.
7:00: Tell Jason the things that need to be done around the house.
7:10: Take another bath with Alice.
8:00: Get ready for bed and read.
9:00: Go to bed.

Now, doesn't that sound fascinating?!! Screw Sarah Palin, they should make a reality series about MEEEEEEE!