Still trucking along...

Even though I am on bed rest, I am not motivated to blog. Mostly because I don't really do or think of anything interesting anymore (or at least anything I am willing to share, which says a lot, because in the past I've blogged about so much of my thinking...) Mostly I switch between the television, the internet and reading. I'll take a nap, I'll play with Alice, take a bath or two, stare at the dogs, etc. The only update is that I am starting to get very, very anxious and paranoid about the c-section and cry about it most every night (poor McSexy) in addition to being highly irritable about everything. I've had abdominal surgery before with my appendectomy and it was not cool - certainly nothing I would CHOOSE to do. I can't imagine having to take care of Noah while trying to recover from surgery and I am afraid it is going to affect my breastfeeding and bonding. For someone who did so much research on vaginal birth (I mean book after book, video after video, website after website), it IS disappointing that I am not even going to be able to TRY to birth naturally, especially since it turns out that I handle contractions pretty well so far (from what the nurses have told me). This pregnancy has been so hard and debilitating that I just want it all to be over and to be recovered as soon as possible so that I can feel finally better and get back to my typical activities (obviously with the addition of a baby), including the gym, walking the dogs, going out with friends, cleaning, baking... but a c-section makes recovery so much longer. I just want it all to be over.