Surviving HOSPITAL bedrest

Here are some tips for surviving a long-term hospital stay while pregnant. Some of these are more general, some are very specific, but my learning curve is your gain! :

1. Make friends with the nurses. This is the single best thing you can do for yourself. You will see the doctor for a few minutes a day, but the nurses are the ones who will re-fill your water, answer your questions and come to love and know your baby. They'll get you special menus, run to buy you candy at night, teach you tricks to relieve your perpetual discomfort, and advocate for you with the docs. Plus, they are full of juicy gossip about labor and delivery. So don't annoy them.

2. Along those lines, each time you get a new nurse, jot down their name and a few tidbits that you learn about them and their family. I also include something special they did for me. I am doing this for two reasons - one, so I'll know who to write cards to once this is all over (and be able to thank them SPECIFICALLY), and two, so when visitors are here I can introduce my nurse to them along with a conversation starter. For example, when the nurse comes in, I say, "So and so, this is Nora - she has been a labor and delivery nurse for 35 years! You should HEAR her stories!" and then it starts an enjoyable chat for all :) This sounds sooo dweeby, but it really has helped me establish relationships with my nurses. Refer to point 1. The nurses ARE. YOUR. LIFE.

3. Send your husband home. I know. Super sad. The first night Jason left to sleep at home, I cried and cried, but in the end, it is better for him to get a good rest (and give the needy dogs some TLC) so he is ready for whatever the night or day holds. Especially if your baby could literally be born at any second. There needs to be at least one of you in tip top shape, and I am sayin', it will NOT be you.

4. Wear your own clothes. As soon as they let you, get out of that hospital gown. Since the items of clothes I can still fit is slowly dwindling, I send Jason home with the previous day's clothes each night for him to wash and bring back (for example, I send him home with Sunday's outfit on Monday night, which he brings back on Tuesday). I felt 100x better after getting out of that gown.

5. Ask to get out of a labor and delivery bed. If you are told you will be there more than one night, ask if they can get you a different bed. The L&D beds are narrow and hard. The regular beds are squishy and wide so you can cuddle with your hubby. Our hospital also has egg crate mattress covers that my nurse gave me. This made ALL. THE. DIFFERENCE and got rid of a significant amount of rib pain and back discomfort for me.

6. Get those night meds. I have mentioned my little BFF Ambien. Before I got pregnant, I was like, "I am not going to let coffee touch my lips, never will I take a bath, I'll live only on veggies and tofu and I will CERTAINLY not allow ANY medications to enter my TEMPLE of a body." Noah (well, his little uterine home) had other plans. I tried everything I could to avoid the few medications I am on, but at the end of the day (or after several weeks of trying alternatives), I was done with the agony. If you are laying around all day, you WILL NOT sleep at night. And as the nurses will tell you, you NEED to sleep while you can. For me, lack-of-sleep was contributing to my contractions so it was also a health issue. And you better not tell my baby he can't have chicken strips. That does NOT go over well.

7. So they have these monitoring bands which are made of cloth and elastic, sort of like the belly bands you wear with your jeans when you first start popping out of them, but looser. These are so much more comfortable for monitoring than the velcro straps and easier/quicker to get on and off. I love my special band. And Noah does, too. He used to throw huge fits and run from the monitor (we think the sensors were just pressing on him and annoying him) so what was supposed to take an quick hour would be two-three hours of chasing him around. That has not been a problem since I switched to the belly band. I am told some ladies prefer the straps, but you never know until you try it once or twice.

8. Don't be a hoarder. There are women here in really, really sucky situations. Some are here for months, some have no support from the daddy, some have serious financial stress, and some have to check out against medical advice for various reasons. At the end of the day, bed rest in the hospital sucks for everyone. If people bring me goodies or magazines or activity books, I use them for a while (eat my fair share) and then pass them on. The nurses will take them to someone who REALLY needs a pick-me-up :)

9. Get yourself a routine. Early on, I realized that I needed to figure out a schedule that worked for me. When you get a new nurse, they will ask you how you like to do things and what your preferences are, and it helps to be able to tell them. I get up, tidy up my room (so my Russian housekeeper will continue to repeat to me daily what a good wife I must be - so bizarre), shower, do my makeup in my bed using my special table, eat, and then get monitored. This works for me. I like to do all this as soon as I wake up, mostly because I am paranoid that I'll be have an emergency and be carted off to deliver without my life in order. I have other little routines for the day, but it gives me some sort of constant in a very weird situation.

10. Olive oil. The air here is super dry. Dry to the point that my regular face lotion (which I have used for years) was giving me a rash and I was getting dry patches all over my skin. My sister brought me olive oil and I rub it into my face after my shower each day. It has helped immensely. I (or Jason) also rubs coconut oil on my stomach a couple times a day, but for the face, just straight olive oil without scents or anything is best.

11. Bring a little stand up mirror (or have someone buy one for you). You will need this to do your makeup lying down in bed. Some people might not care, but I am not an invalid, and I don't want a reputation as the resident antepartum hag. And I hope it goes without saying, but shower. Each day.

12. Get a stuffed animal. My Uncle Gary brought me a stuffed hippo that I named Meatloaf (because I spilled meatloaf on him the night I got him). He is much easier than a regular sized pillow to maneuver behind my neck and back or wherever I need extra support. He has a nice pot belly and I pretend he is Maddie when I fall alseep.

13. Bring pictures of your dogs. Or kids. My dogs are my kids, so I have pictures of them and it really is a mood booster when I miss them so badly I think I will bust out of this joint AMA.

I think that is all. I have a few hospital drama stories and a few horrifying/hilarious labor and delivery stories from my nurses, so I'll try to get those out in the next few days.