I have realized more fully in recent weeks that the saying about God never giving a person more than they can handle is probably NOT true, akkkktually. I do believe that much of what has happened this past year, or is happening now, was/is more than I personally can manage. My body is tired, my mind is struggling and anxious, I am in constant pain. Me, weak as I am, cannot handle the remainder of this bed rest or this pregnancy in my own strength. So this IS more than I alone can handle, too heavy a cross for me to bear.
What I do believe, however, is that God does not give His people more than HE can handle, and He can handle all this nonsense with His little pinky toe. And He showed this to me today when he heard my calling and my distress and sent me a little email through my college friend Devon (who also had a pregnancy-from-hell and a c-section) that helped to assuage my fears and strengthen in me a spirit of resolve. Through her, my burden was slightly lifted and I am feeling much better about bed rest and delivery. Thank you, Devon :)
So alone, I am nothing, but yoked to Jesus and supported by those who listen to and love Him (and a little pill called ambien), I can get through this :)
Katie, I think you are amazing. I feel extremely blessed to have had 2 perfectly healthy (dare I say "easy") pregnancies and still struggled to some extent with the physicality of all that was involved. Being on strict bed rest with the complication of placentia previa (I've not heard good things about this condition) - would be too much for ANYONE to bear!
ReplyDeleteWhen this is all over (surely it feels like it won't EVER be over), you will have sweet Noah in your arms and you can pat yourself on the back for a job well done. I'm sure it's torture now, but you are SOOOO SOOO Close to the end!
God brings you to it and he's going to pull you out of it. You've got this. I'm not going to lie, as hard and trying as this is -- it's just one of the many ups and downs parenting will bring (I'm sure you have some idea of what I'm talking about). I am so proud of you for hanging in there with any resemblance of a good attitude. You are a truly amazing woman! :)
I have been meaning to email you, because I know how scared you are about your c-section - and how difficult this pregnancy has been on you.
ReplyDeleteI'm still writing that email, but I wanted to let you know I'm praying for you. For Noah and for Jason.
Hang in there. You're amazing me with your strength.
Thank YOU for the great reminder that God can handle everything we can't. I needed that! As well as the ambien. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are a rockstar Katie! I LOVE this post and love your outlook on things. I had two wonderful c-sections. YES, I SAID WONDERFUL!!!I went in to them both completely relaxed and positive and they were both awesome. YOU CAN DO IT! I am praying and praying for you!!!
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